Did you miss ‘Tell an Old Joke Day” in July? If you did, it’s not too late to add a little laughter to your day. Nothing is better for your health and well being than a smile and a chuckle. Take a moment and let Vitenas Cosmetic Surgery lighten up your spirit with a few plastic surgery jokes:
• She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
• A plastic surgeon is asked if he’s ever been asked to do anything unusual. ‘No,’ replies the surgeon, ‘but I have raised a few eyebrows.’
• A woman goes to a plastic surgeon and has a radical new treatment. The surgeon puts a small screw in the back of her head so she can turn it and tighten up her skin every time it shows signs of wrinkling. A month later she comes back very upset, ‘Doctor your treatment is dreadful! Look at my face! The bags under my eyes are huge and so matter how much I turn the screw they won’t go away!’ ‘They’re not bags,’ replies the doctor, ‘those are your breasts. And if you keep turning that screw you’re going to end up with a goatee.’
• It’s easier to tell people you’ve had Botox than explain the lack of interest on your face whenever they talk.
• Plastic surgeons are always mountains out of molehills.
Dolly Parton
• I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Rita Rudner
• A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, “Is this it?” God said, “No, you have another 30-40 years to live.”
Upon her recovery, she decided to have Botox injections, lip-implants, a face-lift, liposuction, and a breast augmentation. She even became a blonde; she knew she had another 30-40 years left, so she might as well make the most of it.
When she was walking out of the cosmetic surgeon’s office after the last operation, the woman was struck and killed by an ambulance. She arrived in front of God and said, “I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?”
Then God said, “Shirley! I didn’t recognize you!”
• When they bury me and dig me up, they’ll discover I’m absolutely non-biodegradable and non-recyclable.
Joan Rivers